Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford
17 Things Couples Tend to Over Share on Social Media
New relationships can be both fun and exciting, prompting a lot of couples to want to share their excitement with the world, specifically, via social media. Social media affords many individuals and couples the opportunity to share their happiness, sometimes unhappiness with not only family and close friends but everyone in the stratosphere. Most of us have been there, unable to contain our happiness about our new love and budding relationship, however, some things should not be shared with everyone. Advancements in technology and social media has really changed the way most people socialize, engage the world, and view relationships. Years ago, when you started a new relationship you would share the news with your best friend, opting to reveal your status to your family until it became “serious”. However, with the changes in the usage, users, and options to share, we have not only increased our usage, but what we reveal and how we reveal it on social media. Social media is not limited to couples, but single adults and children. We share both insignificant and significant, from what we ate on a given day to sickness, additions to family, and breakups.
It may come as a surprise, but nearly one-third of all adults and teenagers post their relationship statuses to social media outlets, such as Facebook. Unfortunately, with the sharing of personal, intimate details of our lives also comes with scrutiny and judgement. Seeing someone’s life and relationship updates can be a welcome distraction from our own less interesting or challenging lives. Would it shock you to know that more than half of social media users lie about or exaggerate their statuses online? Often, users will report their relationships or partners in a fantastical way with everything “being great”, having the “perfect partner” or the “perfect relationship”, when their partner or the relationship is far from perfect. Keep in mind no one and no relationship is perfect, every relationship has its ups and downs, every person has both good and bad traits. Consider this, most people watching our lives play out online we barely know, do not remember, or have never met. However, that does not seem to stop our social media or “Facebook” friends from weighing in on the changes and or updates we report. Every time an update or status is reported we have potentially invited another person into our lives and relationships.
In addition to the limitless opportunities to share, some users utilize social media to keep tabs on or spy on current and former partners. Keeping tabs on current as well as former partners can lead to breakdown of a current relationship or inability to move on from a previous relationship. Using social media to spy can lead to insecurities, self-doubt, or unwarranted suspicions. Rather than providing updates on our lives and partners we are encouraged to live life, not write about it, engage in it both selflessly and feverishly.
Although, you may want to cast yourself and your relationship in the best light possible, you may also be setting your partner and yourself up for unrealistic expectations. Relationships and people are not without fault or imperfections; therefore, they should not be depicted that way online or anywhere else. Relationships that are exaggerated online can lead persons viewing your posts to question their own relationship quality. Those that play out negatively online can lead to onlookers taking sides, speculating about the future of your relationship, reveling your relationship challenges, pitying your relationship, etc. Once you put something online you cannot take it back, it is out there, and it is out there to stay.
17 Things Couples Tend to Over Share on Social Media
Their relationship status
Overly mushy exchanges
A cheating partner
Intimate or sexual details
Sexy/scandalous pictures of a partner
Criticisms of a partner or former partner
Comparisons between themselves and an ex-partners new partner
Mean spirited jokes
Challenges with conception
Flaunting of personal items or gifts
Friends or families dislike for a partner
Vacation photos with your partner
Every relationship goes through a period of ups and downs. The good, the bad, and the ugly. However, the things that strengthen a relationship and enhances the bond between partners is their ability to communicate directly with each other, rather than communicating through social media, or sharing personal details about their relationship online. The urge to share can seem overwhelming, especially, in a budding relationship. However, to preserve intimacy and keep your relationship private you need to resist the urge and keep the details of your relationship between your partner and yourself.
As you spend more time with your partner and keep private things private the trust in the relationship builds, you become closer as a couple. Notably, when you overshare on social media you open yourself and your relationship up for criticism and negative feedback that can affect your thoughts and actions in your relationship. When partners overly share details of their relationship, those lending their advice can say things or make recommendations that are less than positive. This advice can lead to self-doubt, pressure to escalate the relationship, and cause tension in the relationship.
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