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  • Writer's pictureDr. Tarra Bates-Duford

Habits of Happy (and Healthy) Couples: 29 Tips

Establishing and maintaining a healthy romantic relationship is certainly not an easy task as most relationships start off with giddy optimism and plans for the future. However, as with most “honeymoon” periods and life itself, there will be moments of both happiness and sadness. All healthy relationships will include times of both triumphs and failures, happiness and sadness, as well as give and take. Although, there is not one discriminate type of healthy relationship most will agree in order for a relationship to be healthy it must include communication, respect, empathy, and compassion.

Habits of Healthy Couples Include:

  • You are open and honest instead of passive aggressive

  • You talk about and acknowledge relationship issues rather than ruminating on them

  • You have more common ground than competition

  • You spend quality time together

  • You enjoy spending time together

  • You have time for yourself

  • You can voice your concerns about your partner and the relationship without fear

  • You have the insight and ability to validate your partner’s feelings

  • You give without the expectation of getting anything in return

  • You choose to see the best in your partner, not the worst

  • You use intimacy to connect, not to fill a void

  • You are able to resolve issues appropriately rather than constantly fighting the same fight

  • You take responsibility for your growth (or lack thereof) rather than using the relationship as an excuse to avoid growth

  • You apologize because you care (and you mean it), not to make a problem go away

  • You communicate what you want and need instead of what you don't want

  • You can disagree with your partner, yet acknowledge your partner makes sensible points

  • You have trust in your relationship

  • You can communicate with your partner about everything

  • You do not intentionally try to hurt your partner’s feelings by words or actions

  • You share the same or similar goals for the relationship and the future

  • You show respect for your partner and the relationship

  • You do not invite others into your relationship

  • You find creative ways to remain connected with your partner or reconnect

  • You show appreciation for your partner

  • You contribute to the relationship equally

  • You agree to let some conflicts go unresolved

  • You accept your partner for who he/she is, flaws and all

  • You understand the power of forgiveness

Every relationship has ups and downs, but some factors are more likely than others to create bumps in a relationship. Lack of quality time, financial challenges, poor communication, and parenting decisions often create recurring conflicts in a relationship. Unfortunately, one of the most significant signs of problems in a relationship includes having repeated versions of the same fight over and over. In such cases, couple’s therapists, social workers, and psychologists can help couples improve communication and find healthy ways to move beyond the conflict. By finding appropriate ways to deal with conflict, couples not only begin to build resiliency but improve coping skills to deal with future challenges.

#DatingandRelationships #Communication #Respect #Trust #Validation #Compassion

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