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  • Writer's pictureDr. Tarra Bates-Duford

24 Red Flags Your Romantic Relationship is Not Working

Many of us enter a relationship hoping for a long-lasting connection. Those of us that are lucky will have at least one, if not a few, significant relationships during our lifetime. However, challenges often lie in building and maintaining the relationship. Singles too eager to settle down and find “the one” often miss the “red flags” signaling the relationship they are pursing is not the right relationship for them. Too often, in our quest for love we ignore items within the relationship that need to be addressed. Failing to address issues or pretending that issues do not exist in the relationship will prevent you from finding the person you are best suited for, temporarily delaying the inevitable, which is the end of a relationship that is not working.

In an effort to truly understand and identify what we need in both a partner and a relationship it is essential that we get to know ourselves. For some people, the fear of being alone can serve as a strong motivator to rush into a relationship. Rushing into a new relationship without processing the loss of the previous relationship will make it more likely to carry old baggage from the old relationship into the new relationship. Successful relationships require both parties’ commitment, dedication, and emotional as well as physical involvement. As obvious it may appear to those of us that know relationships requires hard work, to others, they believe if two people love each other than everything else “will fall in place”. Although, the belief “love conquers all” is a nice belief to have it is also an unhealthy belief. Not all relationships end because partners no longer love each other, some relationships end because partners are unable to communicate in a manner that would allow them to resolve issues and conflict.

24 Red Flags to Suggest Your Relationship is Not Working:

  • Poor or lack of communication

  • Avoidance or refusal to address relationship issues

  • Lack of trust

  • Lack of credibility

  • Honesty concerns

  • Feeling insecure in the relationship

  • Feeling like you should settle

  • History of failure to resolve previous relationship issues

  • History of being a victim in past relationships

  • Irresponsible or immature behavior

  • Controlling behavior

  • Secretive or otherwise guarded behavior

  • Difficulty expressing feelings and thoughts

  • Alienation of other relationships, i.e., family and friends

  • Intense need to be in a relationship

  • Uncomfortable being alone

  • Overly critical of others

  • Mean spirited and demeaning to persons that service them, i.e., waiter, valet, administrative assistant, etc.

  • You are weary or afraid of disagreeing with your partner

  • Family or friends do not like your partner

  • You are more in love with the fantasy of who you think your partner can be rather than your actual partner

  • Personal goals conflict with your partners

  • The relationship is abusive, i.e., verbally, emotionally, or physically

  • You are thinking of someone else or have romantic feelings for someone else

Successful relationships do not form overnight, they are built on a foundation of love, honesty, commitment, and respect. Healthy relationships require a strong sense of partnership and transparency in order to adapt to internal and external change and stressors. Therefore, if you truly want a relationship to work you must combat and address issues as they arise. Ignoring red flags that your relationship is not working or this is not the right relationship for you will only increase anxiety and self-doubt.

#datingrelationships #WarningSigns #RedFlags

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