Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford
Ending a Toxic Relationship
We all desire and strive toward establishing, building, and maintaining a relationship with someone else. Often relationship seeking is done to resolve the desire for companionship and establish a feeling of connectedness with someone else. Trying to establish a relationship with someone or maintaining a relationship with someone is a basic human instinct and need. Sometimes, the best thing you can do when your familial relationship or friendship is toxic or lopsided is to end it. Unfortunately, most toxic relationships, friendships or familial are not easy to end, you need the proper tools to successfully disengage without causing yourself additional stressors and frustration. For many of us being a part of a toxic family or friendship is not easy to recognize. Typically, words and behaviors must be significantly pronounced for us to take notice and acknowledge that this relationship may not be healthy one for us.
Toxic relationships often consist of one or more of the following; manipulation, dishonesty, aggressive acts, verbal or emotional abuse, deceptive behaviors, etc. Although, it is a natural part of the human process to try and mend a broken relationship or fix whatever is going wrong, sometimes the best thing one can do is to let go of one’s romantic partner, family member, or friend. Trying to fix a problem in a relationship regardless of the type of relationship may seem like an effective option to your problems, however, sometimes we must come to the realization and accept some relationships cannot be saved.
Here are a Few Helpful Tips to End a Toxic Relationship:
Thoroughly explore your reasons for ending the relationship.
Once you have identified the relationship as being toxic make a concrete decision about what you want to do.
If you have determined, you want to end the relationship begin reducing your contact with the person.
Once you have initiated the process for ending the relationship, stay firm in your decision, do not send out confusing messages to the toxic person.
Make sure the person you have identified as being toxic is aware you will be ending the relationship. Sometimes toxic people will attempt to remain in your life, but you must be adamant in your stance regarding getting rid of toxicity and negativity in your life.
It is important to note that not everyone’s partner, friend, or family is there for them to lean on, to call on or to go home to. Not every partner, friend, or family is built on the premise of interconnectedness, support and stability. Specifically, when it comes to family members, family simply means that you share a bloodline. Families are supposed to be a foundation in which the members are able to stand tall, feel supported, and flourish not feel weighted, anxious, or drained.