Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford
Healing Emotional Pain: 8 Helpful Tips
As human beings we have all experienced and overcame personal pain at some point or other in our lives. We know that we have overcome emotional pain because we live to tell our own individual and unique stories. No one is excluded, there are no anomalies, we are all subject to pains of the emotions. No lives in a constant state of complete euphoria or happy equilibrium, fluctuations in life events, i.e., achievements, failures, births, deaths, etc., are bound to exist. One’s life often includes of many cycles reminiscent of a roller coaster, ups and downs, peaks and valleys, which are inevitable. Complete and unbridled happiness is something that is not available all the time, it hides, and can be very elusive.
Many people struggle with emotional pain as it may be difficult to identify, to treat, and does not have a defined course. Unlike physical pain that can be treated with medication to numb, has some time frame of how long it will last, provide the sufferer with idea of degree of severity, options for management, etc., emotional pain can go on for extended periods of time without remission, is often not seen from the outside in, and does not have a defined course. Emotional pain or distress can often appear as sadness or a phase, however, just like a physical injury and the pain associated with it, treatment is needs to mitigate symptoms and prevent escalation.
Unfortunately, some people have accepted emotional pain as a part of life, a “normal” consistent part of their life. The pain for some can become a companion, never reaching a point of realizing that happiness can also be a part of their lives, it can become your companion as well. If you have tried resolving the pain on your own and have been unsuccessful, reach out to someone that you trust, do not try to go it alone. Loneliness exists in secrets and isolation, strength not only dwells but thrives in numbers.
Helpful tips to overcome emotional pains:
Identify and describe what you are feeling
Acknowledge what you are feeling without judgement
Acknowledge how pain has impacted your life, with no minimizations
Acknowledge the problem or pain may be larger than you, therefore seek support
Identify what needs to be changed
Change what you can change and accept what you cannot change
Make a concerted effort to move forward, do not stay stuck or regress, push forward
Do not continually try what has not work, it leads to feelings of inadequacy and doubt
Recognize you just like everyone else deserves happiness, but also accept in order to receive it you must endure sadness and failure along the way. To put it simply how could you possibly identify and experience true happiness without experiencing pain and failure, you need a reference to compare.