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  • Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford

Is it Love or Lust



Too often we make the mistake of confusing Love and Lust, at times thinking of and viewing them interchangeably, synonymously. This confusion often leads to confusion, anxiety, anger, depression, and resentment. Love in fact is quite different from lust and should be treated as such. When in love you can experience both of these intense emotions but in lust you will not experience true, genuine, reciprocated love. Love consists of genuine feelings of compassion, affection, caring, and connectedness with another person. Lust consists of feeling of a carnal nature, a strong desire for sexual gratification.

Are you in Love or Lust? View the checklist and decide for yourself

LOVE

  • Do you worry about the genuine well being of the other person?

  • Are you able to compromise to ensure the happiness of the other person?

  • Before considering your own feelings or acting upon them you think about its impact on the other person?

  • You value the thoughts and opinions of the other person?

  • Are decisions or futuristic thinking made with the other person in mind?

  • Your communication is free flowing without regard for manipulating perceived sensitive issues?

  • Does he or she motivate and encourage you to be a better person?

  • Are your feelings unconditional, encompassing of the other person?

LUST

  • Do you desire a short-term pleasurable relationship with no feelings of connectedness?

  • Do you struggle with intense feelings of sexual gratification without a desire for friendship?

  • Are you more attracted to physical appearances rather that heart and personality?

  • Are you more interested in sex than getting to know the other person through conversation?

  • You desire to keep the relationship fantastical rather than based in reality, real time?

  • You want to leave quickly after have sexual relations?

  • You cannot communicate with the other person once you have left the bedroom (love consists of caring, compassion, etc. in every room of a "house" not just one)


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