Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford
Break-up Letters, Texts, & Emails
For the last few months I have received a number of requests for assistance with writing break-up letters, emails, and texts. I must admit when I initially began receiving these requests I did not take them seriously, I actually thought I was being pranked. However, once I got over the shock I realized I was receiving a genuine, albeit desperate request for assistance. My first request was received from a man in his 30's, lets call him Stanley. Stanley came to the realization he must end his year long relationship with his girlfriend after deciding he needed to repair his marriage. You read correctly, Stanley is married and has a girlfriend. Things had been going well for Stanley, he had a loving wife, he thought of as one of the guys, and his best friend. However, Stanley also had a girlfriend that was sexy, girly, smart, and sophisticated. Unfortunately for Stanley in a moment of impulsivity, he proposes to his girlfriend in front of her friends and family. Now that Stanley has decided to re-commit to his marriage he recognizes he must end his year long affair. The problem with ending the affair and "breaking off the engagement" with Barbara involves Barbara being totally unaware of Stanley's marriage. According to Stanley, he was "caught up in the moment" when he proposed to Barbara, and "didn't think it would go this far". Stanley requested assistance with writing a break-up letter for Barbara so he did not have to "look at her, or look into those eyes when he broke her heart".
Is it ever appropriate to write a break-up letter, text, or send a break-up email? Have you ever written a break-up letter or been on the receiving end of a break-up letter? Do you have any opinions on the do's and don'ts of breaking up?