Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford
Dating the Emotionally Unavailable
Too often in dating relationships we find ourselves dating individuals that may not be ready for a monogamous, committed relationship, are already in another relationship (which they conveniently forgot to mention to you), do not have time to build upon a relationship, or are emotionally unavailable. The latter poses unique stressors on dating and relationships. Individuals that pursue or engage in relationship with those that are emotionally unavailable find themselves giving more to the relationship than they are receiving. Unfortunately, those that are "givers" in this type of relationship will seldom receive gratitude or acknowledgment of partner and relationship sacrifices. In my career I work with many people from many different backgrounds, age groups, cultures, etc., and the consensus remains the same, there is significant loneliness and resentment in these types of relationships. The question that I am asked the most by those I treat include; why do I seem like I am always dating someone that does not support me? Why am I consistently drawn to someone that is emotionally unavailable?
There are several reasons we are drawn to those that are emotionally unavailable, many of which can be attributed to us. Do you have have a story about someone you have dated that was emotionally unavailable? Was there any red flags that you overlooked?Do you have any stories that you would like to share, if so lets talk about them.